Blogs


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Ivan Moult is set to release his third album, 'Songs From Severn Grove', this Spring on independent Welsh record label, Bubblewrap Collective. His previous albums have received radio support from BBC Radio 6 Music and BBC Radio Wales, and have been featured on Folk Radio UK.


Ivan's second album, 'Longest Shadow', released in 2018, won him festival slots at Cornbury Festival, Folk on The Dock, and Festival of Voice, as well as support slots with This Is The Kit, Becca Mancari, and Willy Mason. For this new album, Ivan played, recorded, engineered, and mixed all of the instruments himself at his home studio in Cardiff. The album charts a journey of growth and change, beginning with the lockdown during the 2020 pandemic and continuing through Ivan's experiences of fatherhood and the development of his love and relationships.

The album showcases Ivan's voice front and centre, with layered harmonies and a soundscape of delay-soaked electric guitars, drums, and bass. The music draws from influences such as J.J. Cale, Nina Simone, and Tim Buckley, creating a fusion of 1960s/70s folk and blues with a contemporary sound. Ivan's unique and original style remains recognisably present throughout the album.

The first track to be released from the album will be 'Out Of Time' and will be available across all digital platforms on March 29th. Ivan explains: “Lyrically it’s a song reflecting on the nature of life and finding meaning in making the most of things and living in the moment. Sonically the song started off after I’d been listening to Paul McCartney's ‘Ram’ album and it was quite driving whilst also relaxed but in production it ended up more reverb washed and dreamy.”



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Swansea born songwriter Tom Emlyn vividly depicts why he is one of the most prolific and inventive songwriters emerging songwriters in Wales, with his new album ‘Return Journey Revisited: Scaredycat Vol 1’ recorded at BBC studios in 2018 and mastered by Charlie Francis (R.E.M., Pixies). The album is a peek inside his treasure trove of recordings dating back to 2017 and 2018, with songs showing the sheer scope of his songwriting talent.

Built upon a cyclical strum and raw vocals recorded live in one performance, Emlyn’s new single ‘Like a Cigarette’ released on the 24th of March, poetically sketches out the scene as he spends his days busking outside a café in Frankfurt, shot through with the corrosive power of imagery, and acts as a living and breathing earworm that charts his travels around Europe and Germany in 2017.

Tom Emlyn says : “I ran out of money on something like the second day of the trip, so didn't have the opportunity to be lazy and had to rely on busking for survival, which turned out to be amazing practice and one of the best things I've done. I was watching people smoking and drinking and wondering why people smoke. I started thinking about advertising and the seductive power of images. Images which are far removed from the rhythm of everyday life and the monologues of our interior minds eyes. Images which are ultimately disposable, carcinogenic and affect the way we treat other people.”  

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About The ‘Hollowing Out’ Album

 

Hollowing Out, the debut album from Cardiff-based five-piece Red Telephone will be released on 31st March 2023. The dystopia-tinged album deals with themes of alienation, identity and monotony, as well as exploring contemporary social dilemmas such as the trappings of ambition in a saturated pop culture age, the pervasive nature of modern media and social media fatigue. Sonically, the band draw from an array of influences; ranging from Berlin-era Bowie, brooding synth-led film soundtracks such as Blade Runner and Uncut Gems, the art rock of Kate Bush and St Vincent, as well as modern electronic pop artists such as MGMT, Mitski and Tame Impala.

 

Speaking about the upcoming album, singer Declan Andrews said;


 


While putting together ‘Hollowing Out’ we were really getting into synths; drawing quite a bit on brooding, synth-led film soundtracks like Blade Runner, Scarface and Uncut Gems. Part of this was out of necessity - it was the initial 2020 lockdown when I wrote most of the songs in my bedroom and I’d got my hands on emulations of classic synths which gave me free reign to really explore this territory of sounds. I also had the free time to watch and rewatch a lot of movies such as those just mentioned. All of this definitely crossed over with the band’s prior love of film, Bowie’s Berlin-era sound, his work with Iggy and albums like Little Dark Age by MGMT too. Basically, those dystopian soundscapes that evoke a lot of mood and imagery. As a band we’ve been drawn to them for a while, especially since visiting Berlin and exploring Bowie’s stomping ground (quite run down and not very touristy areas) but also after playing Tallinn Music Week in 2019. The post-Soviet landscape was pretty striking in parts of Tallinn and we discovered bands like Molchat Doma for the first time, who were using synths and electronic elements in ways that got us excited and has definitely rubbed off on our approach since.

 

We really wanted to integrate these sounds and influences into a modern sounding record rather than just looking back though, so we spent a lot of time getting the bass and low end sounding as big and distinctive as possible - we were really influenced by the likes of Kendrick Lamar in this respect. Similarly, dystopian themes seem as relevant as ever; with the saturated and pervasive nature of modern media which the album explores lyrically, as well as topics like social media fatigue and alienation.

There’s also a big guitar aspect to the sound so it’s not just a synth album. We grew up listening to guitar bands like Arctic Monkeys, so that’s part of our DNA, but while making this we were delving into a lot of R&B, which influenced the use of phased guitar lines and seemed to accentuate the dark and cinematic sound we were after. The most recent Strokes album The New Abnormal had also just come out when we started work on this album and we were listening to it a lot, so no doubt some of those guitar approaches found their way into the sound.

 

About Red Telephone

 

Formed in 2018 and hailing from Cardiff, Red Telephone’s richly layered alt-rock could have emanated from a club in Blade Runner's dystopian LA - combining angular guitars, Krautrock-inspired rhythms and New Wave-tinged synths with infectious pop sensibilities. Drawing on post punk, synth pop and industrial rock influences the band has been catching the attention of DJs across BBC 6 Music, BBC R1, Amazing Radio and Radio X; with comparisons to the likes of MGMT, Mitski and Berlin-era Bowie being drawn. With previous single releases on Welsh-based labels Libertino Records and the Popty-Ping Recording Company, the band's highly anticipated debut album is set to be released early 2023.

 

'Hollowing Out' Album Tracklisting

 

1.Hollowing Out

2.Happy Man

3.Wanna Sleep Tonight

4.Orange Lights

5.Wake Me

6.Normal Life

7.We All Look So Nice

8.I'm Broken

9.The Machine That Changes Itself

10.Waiting For Your Good Days

 

 


“Very nicely layered. Has a bit of early 80s melodrama; a sort of Pet Shop Boys croon and a Krautrock halo.”
– Steve Lamacq, BBC 6 Music



“Something brilliantly dark about this, with their synth psych noir with a pulse. Real potential to go big.”
- Chris Hawkins, BBC 6 Music

“Great Welsh psych!”
– Amy Lame, BBC 6 Music

"It's a stunning sounding single from Red Telephone, my artist of the week”
– Huw Stephens, BBC Radio Wales

“This direction pegs Roxy Music/Sparks playfulness to their neo-psych and Suede-aping past selves, turning it into something thoroughly intriguing. They have the skills to match the ambition.”
– Under the Radar Magazine

“Veers between being a paranoiac industrial rock hammering and shimmering, escapist 60s psychedelia.”
– Gigwise

“That sounds momentous to me. The imagination is bubbling over the sides of the recording, it cannot be contained. I love the way the singer sounds a little bit like Marc Bolan, he’s got that real sense of wonder and playfulness in his voice.”
– Adam Walton, BBC Introducing Wales

“A lot of splendid noises packed into just under three minutes.”
– Gideon Coe, BBC 6 Music




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Bethan Lloyd is a Welsh artist whose trance inducing vocals expand over an ocean of rave inspired production, harmonic layering and otherworldly ecstasy. Her sonic exploration has taken her from training as a classical singer, immersing herself in Berlin’s experimental music scene, to learning with shamans, masters and the ancient teachings of the natural world. In her latest album, Metamorphosis, Bethan, producing alongside Pre-Human bandmate and master of noise Isaac Ray, takes her intense explorations of the spirit and emotional realms and blends them into something playful and danceable, a gritty experimental pop.

 

Tracklisting


1.Boss Of Big Dreams

2.No Umbilical

3.Antares

4.Aria

5.Cutting Circuits

6.Parasitic Yes

7.None Of The Above

8.Whatever We Delete

 

Using expressive vocal layers and hypnotic acid breaks to pull the listener into an ecstatic experience, Bethan Lloyd begins this album by exploring the primal state of emptiness, a place where no thought exists and only being, acting and living remain. It is this state of emptiness and often The landscape itself which becomes the inspiration for Bethan's creativity. She is frequently journeying with her sonic tools to ancient Neolithic sites and places of awe and wonder and allowing her surroundings to inspire a unique vocal soundscape. A soundscape that stirs up a sense of the forgotten past. The album explores the cosmos and the dark euphoria within it, the themes of mind control and diluted society ask a question about where we are headed as a collective. The music is a spell for transformation. A cry for a return to sovereignty and autonomy of mind and body. This project delves into the philosophy of animism, guiding humanity back from its abusive relationship with nature. Cutting the chords of consumerism. Cutting the circuits of control and returning to our true gifts, to the web and to the void.


 


“Gorgeous” Amy Lamé’s ‘Sunday Girl’,

Amy Lame, BBC Radio 6

 

“This is good! Impressive stuff from Bethan Lloyd”

Huw Stephens, BBC Radio

 

“Folky vocalist to power your pagan rituals”

James Thornhill, Electronic Sound

 

“For Welsh artist Bethan Lloyd, the “voice” is a multi-faceted wonder - a tool, a weapon, a healing tonic.”

James Thornhill, Under The Radar Mag

 

“Bethan's inventive use of dream-like, layered sounds is otherworldly.. a rousing electronic set overlaid with distinct vocals... if it’s at all possible to imagine Gothenburg band The Knife singing in Welsh, then you might well be onto something.”

Susan Hansen, Clash Magazine

 

"A deeply emotive swirling electro pop that fuses together Lloyd's folk influenced, pagan like, refrains that gradually creep from personal and enveloping to swooping awestruck call to the heavens, underpinned by an intricate and pulsing tapestry of shadowy electronic sounds"

Bill Cummings, God is in the TV Zine

 

“I love the synths I love Bethan Lloyd voice, I love the the lyrics. It's just brilliant. She is just brilliant. Very enigmatic presence in many respects and a true artist.”

Adam Walton BB Radio Wales

 

“I saw Bethan play at Focus Wales… She blew me away.. She was one of my favourite artists of the festival… I love her music”

Bethan Elfyn BBC Radio Wales

 

“Bethan Lloyd is awesome, she is an incredible musician and singer”

Zakia Sewell, NTS  Radio




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Finding Aurora Their explosive new single 'The Never-Ending' is released on Friday 24th March



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Alternative rock band 'Finding Aurora' release their stunning new single entitled 'The Ever-Lasting' on the 24th of March.

 


Inspired by bands such as Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden, Newport Quintet 'Finding Aurora' discover themselves embarking on a new era for the band they formed back in 2019, and 'The Ever-Lasting' is the first single that propels them into the unknown.

 

The band’s music has been described to have a garage rock feel to it, with grungy sounding guitars and pure raw energy.

 

The inspiration that drives them to write music, Sam tells us: “I try to find inspiration in anything, which is something that has materialised over the years of playing music. I find inspiration in a lot of aspects of life, but a lot of the best songs come from moments, people, times and those kind of things which have an emotional attachment to your heart. They can be good or bad things, that’s the beauty of writing music.”

 

The band have been busy writing this batch of new material, which Sam adds “is our best yet.” So expect more of the same in terms of good production, mixing and writing. Sam explains: “We’re all so proud of it all and cannot wait to get it into peoples ears. It’s an exciting time for us, we’re entering a new era of the band and its so much fun.

 

You can catch 'Finding Aurora' Live

 

Sunday 9th April - The Big Sesh, Newport

 

Saturday 17th June - Le Pub, Newport 




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New Music From Jeremy Gluck & Paul Hazel


By Ceri Shaw, 2023-03-15

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This year has seen the 100th anniversary of the birth of Sam Phillips and the 70th anniversary of the first releases on Sun Records. Released in the wake of their collaborations The Benefactor, Love, and Plan for a Performance, Jeremy and Paul offer a skewed but reverent homage to those who started it all, a collision driven comeback from the dynamic duo of rad deconstruction.

Recording artist, digital fine artist, and prolific electronic music and video art collaborator, Jeremy Gluck is perhaps best known as lead singer of cult surf-punk band The Barracudas, the subject of a recently released 3CD retrospective on Cherry Red Records. As a solo artist he has had songs covered by artists such as Lydia Lunch and Rowland S. Howard (The Birthday Party, Crime and the City Solution, These Immortal Souls), and Nikki Sudden (Swell Maps), with whom two latter artists he recorded the first supergroup alt.country album, ‘I Knew Buffalo Bill’ in 1987. In 1997 Gluck began a journey into experimental electronica that led to him working with some of the genre’s leading lights, including Martin Rev, Brendan Moeller, Dub Gabriel, and Youth.

Paul Hazel is a music producer and multi-instrumentalist. He has studied electro-acoustic composition with Simon Emmerson and been through the ‘Search and Reflect’ method with free jazz drummer John Stevens. He has had many releases on labels such as Rising High, Rotation, Inspiral, 2Kool, Welsh Modular Alliance, and SWND. As part of the band Blue Train he hit the Billboard dance charts with Get Movin’, released on Masters At Work. He has composed and produced the music for a number of commercial films and TV programmes. Short films of his own have been exhibited in Japan, Venice, and at several galleries across Wales.


Links

https://bambooradical.bandcamp.com/
https://www.facebook.com/JeremyGluckArt
https://www.facebook.com/paul.hazel.31/
https://twitter.com/nonceptualism
https://objkt.com/profile/tz2JPVuwvUZyq1LyFwNz2ghXbJ62pQ1rd9f2/activity


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Recorded during a 5 year period which started whilst Bethan and Ynyr (Rogue Jones) were expecting their first child and ended just before the birth of their second child. Dau Fabi. Two Babies. Dos Bebés, is an album exploring life in all its messy glory – light and dark, profound and ridiculous….Raw, bombastic, vulnerable, gentle, big, playful. LIFE and LIVING….BEING ALIVE, embracing the imperfections and seeing the beauty in every moment.

 

“The initial sessions back in 2017 were experimental and meandering; we turned up in Tŷ Drwg (the studio home of our longtime producer Frank Naughton) with only very loose sketches of songs and often built the song up in the studio in an extremely liberating way of composing and recording.

 

By the end of the recording process, in winter 2021, we were up against it to finish the album before the baby arrived so a more raw and impulsive approach was taken.

 

The fact that we have two main song-writers who have quite different styles and influences means that the band’s songs tend to be quite varied in genre. Our first album was quite varied in its musical style and instead of intentionally trying to hone down to a ‘Rogue Jones’ sound for the second album we just wrote and recorded however we felt and embraced the eclectic nature of our sound. And it turns out that even when we try to make 70s disco, thumping dance music or soulful ballads; it still somehow comes out sounding like us and us alone.

 

Some songs deal directly with parenthood, but all songs are viewed through the prism of becoming parents in a way, whether they’re concerned with spirituality, religion, politics or anything else.

 

The album takes us through a 5 year period of our life - from hearing a baby’s heartbeat for the first time, through childbirth, toddlers scribbling on things, to pondering why so many new fathers take up Iron Man triathlons, alongside the varied themes and thoughts that floated through our heads - a song that came fully formed in a dream, one based on an alien conspiracy theory, mathematical conundrums, and politics of love. It’s a representation of our subconscious in this time.

 

Our second child has been present, albeit in the womb, for so much of the recording, mixing and mastering process that playing the album is an effective way of getting him off to sleep. Our eldest was at the very first sessions in the womb and came along to a few sessions when we didn’t have childcare so they’re both a presence on the record.

 

“Dos Bebés is an album bursting at the seams with big ideas and small vulnerable moments of unguarded honesty. Melodically these songs entwine around your heart and guide you through a life changing journey of birth and love. There is an innocent wide eyed creative wonder to 'Dos Bebés' that’s enthralling, a carefree abundance of ideas that make the album a musical treasure trove” -  Libertino

 

Musical Influences Bethan 


PJ Harvey, Queen, Kate Bush, Grandaddy, Animal Collective, Du Blonde, LCD Soundsystem, Beyonce, CSS, Fleetwood Mac, Datblygu. Music with rawness, braveness or fun. The piano debuts and features a lot on this album as we bought one with our wedding money just after the release of our 1st album and turns out a piano is a good instrument to play with a baby in your lap or during a pandemic. I had an unsuccessful run of 5 piano teachers quitting on me, so I like to think this is to show that the music comes from within you, not from others.

 

Musical Influences Ynyr 


North American indie bands 2000-2010 who got 5* Reviews in Uncut Magazine, LCD Soundsystem, Elephant 6, Talking Heads, Tom Waits, Leonard Cohen, Abba, Madonna, Datblygu, Serge Gainsbourg and the obligatory SFA & GZM.


Arthur Russell, although there’s not a particular song that sounds to me like any of his songs, was a quiet and persistent influence. His mixing of acoustic, classical instruments with electronic sounds and general dis-regard for genre constraints within his work was an inspiration and freed me up to take songs in the direction they wanted to go.


I was also listening to a lot of Abba Gold and Madonna’s greatest hits so there were definitely attempts at pure, direct pop music too.



Also, Huw Chiswell’s (Welsh language singer songwriter) Greatest Hits compilation has the most varied track-listing by mood of any collection of songs ever. It oscillates between sombre and ecstatic from one song to the next and I realised how much I enjoy that variety of moods in one album.  

 

Credits:

 

The album was recorded, as with our debut album VU, with Frank Naughton in Tŷ Drwg Studios Grangetown, Caerdydd.

 

It was mixed by Llyr Parri and mastered by Sion Orgon.

 

The bulk of the instruments were played by Bethan and Ynyr with Frank Naughton helping out with some drums and bass here and there.

 

We called Llyr Parri up mid-session to ask if he wanted to come and play some drums on a few tracks, when he asked ‘when?’, we said ‘now?’ and he said ‘ok’ – before we knew it he was in the live room, on a kit he’d never played before, playing perfectly to songs he’d never heard before.

 

Regular Rogue Jones members Steffan Ebsworth and HarriRees appear along with the ‘Rogue Jones Orchestra’; Elen Ifan and Mari Morgan. Elen on cello in Grangetown and Mari recording her violin parts from Caernarfon with engineering assistance from Gruff Ab Arwel.

 

We were also joined by two very special guests;

Ioan Hefin; our neighbour and the man responsible for the greatest brass solo in Welsh music with Eryr Wen’s ‘Gloria Ty’d Adra’ on trumpet and marching horn on 1,2,3 and Lemonade

And Eilir Pierce, the enigmatic genius whose spoken word ranting about lemon meringue pie on Lemonade is a highlight of the record.


 

Dos Bebés - Track Listing:

 

1. Triongl Dyfed

2. Off By One

3. Englynion Angylion

4. Babette

5. Fflachlwch Bach

6. 1, 2, 3

7. 155 bpm

8. Y Tad, Y Mab a’r Ysbryd Glân

9. Lemonade

10. Gwaed

11. R Williams Parry



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On The Job


By Ceri Shaw, 2023-03-11

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“Good afternoon and thank you for finally attending this Job Start Interview!” Said the Civil Servant.

“You’re welcome Mr Isious!” replied the attendee politely-reading the name badge on the Official- with all the charm of a gentleman that had been to Gordonstoun and then Dartmouth Naval College.

“ Mr Andrew Albert Christian Edward Windsor I presume,…do you have any photographic identification on you to prove this fact?” asked the former DSS snooper.

“Sorry…one doesn’t carry a wallet around with me…money is vulgar…hang on …One has a photograph of oneself flying a helicopter in the Falklands War …would that suffice…is that what you are Sea King?” Asked the eighth in line to the throne of England, passing over a tattered old Kodak snapshot, now yellowing with age.

“Not really but it will have to do…don’t forget you won’t be allowed to vote at the next General Election without proper identification documents you know!” replied the know -it - all Government employee reading from the YouGov site.

“ So why is one here….is one in trouble?” asked the disgraced Royal.

“Not compared to recent events….you are here because officially you have not worked since 2002 when you left the Navy!” Replied the jobsworth.

“That’s 21 years to be precise and you are only aged 63 and therefore still of an age that you are eligible to work!” He continued.

The Duke of York gulped nervously but didn’t sweat it.

“So according to our Government records, you are receiving State benefit from the Sovereign Grant , formerly the Civil List, to the tune of £250,000.00 ….the question is are you actively looking for work?” the interviewer said looking over his bifocal glasses.

“Well ….stuttered the Prince….my Mother has only recently died …!” 

“That was over six months ago in September 2022!” Continued the Questioner.

“And what about the previous two decades….were you just F***ing about?” asked the Civil Servant turning very uncivil.

“Look…one told that BBC Lady, Emily Mattress,  in my other interview that one doesn’t  drink coffee and therefore haven’t been anywhere near a Maxwell House!” denied the Duke.

“So what exactly have you been doing since your last recorded job in 1982?” Asked Mr Icious.

“Do you have a first name ?” Asked Andrew.

“Of course…it’s Malcolm!” Replied the Government Employee.

“May one call you Mal?….Mr Icious?” Queried the Duke.

“Most certainly NOT!” Replied the Job Centre Plus Interviewer.

“This is a formal interview to determine if you deserve to continue to receive handouts from the state!” He continued.

“So other than playing around with your chopper for two decades…what exactly have you been doing?”

“Well…one has been waving a lot …!” replied the Royal with absolute sincerity.

The interviewer furrowed his brow and stared at the Duke.

“Mainly from the deck of the Royal Yacht Britannia…!” he stuttered.

“ Do you know the song a life on the ocean ‘wave’ is better than going to sea?” Said the posh boy.

“Is that why you are called Handy Andy then?….I thought it was for a different reason!” said Malcolm turning the Royal colour Purple, apoplectic with rage.

“Well we both sponge money off the Taxpayer don’t we?” Said Andrew trying to find ‘common’ ground with the commoner.

“ You mean as a civil servant I am obliged to accept a below inflation pay award and work till I am 67 …five years longer than any Frenchman …whilst you live the life of Riley….it’s complete nonsense!”

“Some would say nonce-sense actually!” Replied the Sniggerer.

“And don’t mention Frogmore please….it’s still a sore point with my family!” 

“So are you claiming too for any dependents?” Asked the Interviewer.

“Yes, for one’s daughters Beatrice &  Eugenie !” The Royal outcast said.

“ And how old they…are they still in school or full time education?” Malcolm pressed harder.

“Let me see Beatrice is 34 and Eugenie 32 and of course Sarah my other dependent is 63!” Andrew continued.

“Don’t any of them have their own jobs?” Asked Malcolm absolutely flabbergasted.

After three long minutes of laughing from Andrew he replied “Are you serious?”

Looking around the whitewashed walls of the Windsor Job Centre, he uttered.

“Come on…who set this up ….Michael McIntyre or Ant n Dec?”

“Can’t be Jeremy Beadle….he is no longer about after all!”

“This isn’t a laughing matter, Mr Windsor…I am here to make sure that you find work or we stop your State ‘benefit’ like everyone else in this Country!” said the official in a more Mal Icious tone.

“So what skills do you have?” Asked Malcolm.

Andrew racked his brain and repeated “Waving?”

“There are several job opportunities available working in the Pizza Express Woking Branch….do you know it?” asked the Interviewer.

“No!” Replied the Duke immediately.

“Never been there in my life….oops…on second thoughts one went there with one’s daughter on the night that one DIDN’T go to Tramp nightclub…!”

“What perks do you get ?”

“Well it is a bit like the Hooters restaurants they have in Canada and the US with young girls serving in skimpy outfits only with different ‘toppings!” said Malcolm luring the new Prince of Darkness in to bite.

“Interested?” 

The Duke was now leaning forward at the desk.

Malcolm lifted the telephone up and spoke into it.

“Susan…would you be good enough to bring me in the Pizza Express bakery job application forms for the Woking branch….you will find them under the 

P- Dough File!” 

Andrew looked suspiciously at the Official he had heard that word chanted a lot when he was in Buckingham Palace ever since he had innocently paid Three Million Pounds to a charity suggested by a girl he had never met.

“You are aware that the allegations about One and Miss Go Free were never proved in a Court of Law do you? said the Duke rather testily.

“Not my concern really!” Said Malcolm.

“Do you know why One did that free interview with Emily Mattress?” Countered Andrew.

“Former BBC reporter Martin Bashir rang up the Palace claiming he had further evidence….bloody phoney wank statements….how dull does he think one is? …Princess Diana or something?” raged Andrew.

“Oh ‘hang on’….there is also an International Job going as a prison officer at the New York Correctional Centre….sounds like money for old rope…!”said Malcolm looking at his computer screen.

“ Are you still allowed to visit the United States ….?” challenged Malcolm.

“Come to think of it….One does have a lot of Air Miles left on One’s frequent flyer account to Palm Beach , Florida….but on second thoughts best not to go there again…you know with all those selfies of people One has never actually met….!”mused Andrew.

“Sauna Tester in IKEA in Kyrgyzstan?” proffered Malcolm.

“You could do that no sweat!”

The evil eye from the Royal followed.

“Why does one have to get a job anyway …surely with all those people coming over in those small boats ….they need a job more than One does…after all…One’s ancestors created the British Empire especially for people who DO have the ability to break sweat….!” Replied the Royal in a posh voice.

“Oh they are fast tracked to Rwanda these days…so the Post-Brexit fruit is still rotting in the fields without anyone to pick it!” said Malcolm.

“Do you fancy a try?….after all you have a plum in your mouth most of the time anyway!” He continued.

Andrew leaned in and whispered

“One thinks we both know that neither One nor One’s family are ever going to do REAL work as we are too important to the British economy given the amount we bring in from tourism?” Replied Not so Handy.

“How much is that a year?”asked Mal.

“19 Million Pinds!” said the Royal gurning with the pronunciation.

“And the cost to the tax payer for the Sovereign Grant ?” questioned the Interviewer.

“Don’t know or care!” Said Andrew churlishly.

“It’s amazing what you can find on the internet especially with a Freedom of Information form these days…..try £369 Million give or take a few clocks…!” Replied the clear Republican.

“ So what is your point exactly?” Asked the peeved Royal feeling more exposed than Prince Harry at a Las Vegas pool party.

“Everyone in Britain must now pay their way or get deported to Rwanda!” said Mal 

“That’s the most ridiculous thing one has ever heard!” said Andy channelling the late Kenny Everett.

“What about Stanley Johnson up for a knighthood?” asked Mal the inquisitor.

“Point taken!” sniggered Andy.

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Alternative Psych-Rock band Holy Coves head out on a free entry Welsh Tour of Wales in March to help the Welsh independent music scene during the cost of living crisis. The tour kicks off at The Parish, Wrexham on Thursday 23rd March, followed by Cwrw, Carmarthen on Friday 24th March and the final tour date at Cader Rocks Torrent Walk, Dolgellau on Saturday 25th March. The band will also play an acoustic instore, free entry gig at The Second 45 Record Shop in Llanelli on Saturday 25th March at 1pm, in partnership with Yr Wyddfa Records, Music Scene Wales, Welsh Connections and Cader Rocks.


Thu 23rd March - The Parish, Wrexham.

 Fri 24th March - Cwrw, Carmarthen.

Sat 25th March - Cader Rocks Torrent Walk, Dolgellau

* FREE ENTRY *

Sat 25th March - 1pm - The Second 45 Record Shop - Acoustic instore gig

*FREE ENTRY*


Please come a long and support the bands & the venues!



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