Now look here my American chums. You may or may not have heard of the fine game of Rugby Union. Suppose you would be apropos with the notion of unionism as I cant for the likes of me think of anything called Rugby Confederacy but thats by the by.

Rugger is a fine manly game where one can push against another mans buttocks without fear of reprimand of any kind and indeed great admiration is often heaped upon those who indulge excessive physical contact. ( Often wondered why there taint mixed rugger teams though. I would personally volunteer to play in the scrum at no 8 or second row - just to steady the fillies bent over either side of my noddle of course.

But I digress. There is a rumour circulating in the fair valleys that that one time Mr Charlotte Church known to many as Gavin Henson has returned to the Welsh rugby team after many absences; the reasons for absenteeism are varied and wonderful I believe including everything from a lack of appropriate hair gel to the wrong type of toast being served at breakfast. Even more wonderful than the reasons for his absence are the reasons for the blighters return. I cant for the love of all things patrician imagine why this popinjay has returned. It seems to be because he has shown a remarkable lack of prowess in cornering the Canary of Cardiff - a gel with fantastic mineral resources and wealthy to boot and being the recipient of excessive publicity revealing himself as a fellow who couldnt dance his way out of a paper bag.

This is what passes today, it seems, as a sound grounding for taking on the cream of World rugger.

I believe I shall repair to Tahiti in disgust for a month. I have set up a hostel there with Madam Pom Pom of Mayfair in order to help poor good lookin gels get on the straight and narrow. The Memsahib is taking a Spring sabbatical with her personal beautician and gardener called Delroy.

Toodle Pip

QWT ( COL RTD )