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'I'll be a hot shot, Baby, tonight'
There is a programme on UK televisionthat I'veonly seen a snatch of, on one occasion, called 'Loose Women.'
I find telly tiresome - I watch antique valuation progammes, property makeovers, quiz shows (I'm selective about which) and some BBC 4 music programmes. I don't watch cooking because I hate seeing the contestants demeaned by some of the judges. My tastesmay below brow, but I want to be entertained, not worried, soI don't watch the news, either. It's too horrific. I prefer reading it in the paper the next day whenI can turn the page if I want.
But this talking shop show, 'Loose Women' reminds me of my daughters and myself, when we get going. No subject istoo tricky for us, no holds barred, either.
A friend's son has been appearing in a musical in the West End and I congratulated her. She shrugged.
'He could have been a lawyer, if I'd made him.' I asked if he was interested in the law and she said it didn't matter. He'd have done whatever shetold him.
Rousseau, the French philosopher, thought along those lines, too. He believed a child's mind was like a tabula rasa, a blank slate, that an adultcould do anything with. (We won't bother too much with Rousseau for the purposes of this blog, because he dumped his own children in an orphanage.)
Similarly, the Jesuits believed that ifchildren were tutored before the age of seventhey could be moulded to the teacher's will.
'They'd have had a jobwith my two', said my older daughter. 'Those two know everything. You can't tell them a thing.'
We have holidayed in the north of Majorca many times, in a little place called Pollensa. There aren't many shops there but the countryside has an appealingroughness, with scraggy goats jumping around the olive trees. We stay in avilla close towhere an architect has his office in a small house nearby.
My grandsons used to admire thearchitect's old bicycle, chained up outside the house. Often, when we passed by,(each time), I'd ask them if they'd like to be architects. They were non-commital, surfing, skateboarding andlife-saving, as in Lifeguards, being their main interests.
My daughter told me to let them choose for themselves what they wanted to do, but following my friend's theory we began to wonder if you can influence your child's future career.
I've noticedthatchildren often follow intheir father's occupation: doctors, dentists, bakers, butchers all have children brought up 'in the shop', as it were. In our family, we have all taught, andI wonder if it's possible to pass on a work 'gene.'
My younger daughterhas another theory.
'Children who findhome life uncomfortable are more adventurous than others.We'dhave been kick-ar** hot shots somewhere exotic now if we hadn't liked it at home,' was her conclusion.
Could bea PhD thesis in there for someone.
Hi Ceri and Gaabi,
Both my daughters inherited the 'homemaker' gene, (they've not worked outside the home for donkey's.) Both liked sewing. Myolder daughterdid a Welsh Studies degree, though she's an avid reader of books written in English. WhenI mentioned the other dayI thought she might have taken up textile curating in a museum she asked why hadn't I said at the time. There was not much heard about thatsort of thing thirtyyears ago. It was more aboutteaching needlework.
My youngerr daughter was also a 'sewer' but the art teachersaid sheshould take art and the music teacher wanted her to take up music.Her opinion was she didn't like either enough to do it full time. Incollegeher main subjects were 'Art' and 'Education'.
Now, I think they would have made different choices - both still like textiles and Kate regrets she did not take up music, but that's life, full of might-have-beens.I do know, though, that careers guidance was very poor in schools years ago. Also, the opportunities were limited.
Now, every other student I speak to wants to be a lawyer, because they were brought up on 'Crown Court' programmes on television.
I thinkqualifications are important assomething to take you into the working world, butmany degrees are too general. I would say 'focus' then
go for it.
My parents didn't mentor me at all, I ran wild and left home as soon as possible and did lots of interesting jobs but as I got older, I have sort of come back to the "family business," which is art and that's kind of weird. I was around it as a kid but not musch as a teen, painters, musicians, actors, sculptors, dancers etc but not closely, I didn't get particularly get classes, my parents didn't teach me their own art at all or encourage me to do it or include me in their own art worlds at all. We went to watch dad play music when we were very little and a little to pottery and sculpture things until I was about 14, mom taught piano to other people but not us. I think it bothered them that I didn't do it as an adult but I can tell they're happy that I'm doing it now, I think they feel kind of vindicated by it.
Hmmmmm....I think it's important not to under estimate the power of negative conditioning too. Whatever you do, your kids want to do the opposite or at least something completely different. On a side note I vacationed in Pollensa once. Still, I imagine its changed a lot since the 70's.