Iwas visitinga distant cousin in Scotland and had heardthather husbandvacuumed the carpets as soon as he got in from work.

My cousin was a stay-at-home mum with a toddler soI assumedshe might befinding it difficult to get around the housework or maybeshe hadpost-natal depression.

During my stay the two year old had a small party,accompanied bythe usualcrumbs, paper cups, torn wrapping paperand burst balloons.

After it was over, my cousin wiped down the table, sweptthe floor and vacuumed the entrance hall.

There would be noneed for her husband to cleanthis particular evening, I thought,but I was wrong.

Practically as soon as hubby was through the door he made straight for the cleaner,plugged in and zoomed aroundthe place as though his life depended on it and perhaps it did.

Remarking that I couldn't see any fluff or dust anywhere my cousinexplainedthis was her husband's way of relaxing; if he couldn't clean he was tense.

Before they married he hadcleaned his flatas soon as he was home and he liked to keep to his routine. She didn't seem to mind.

I read in the papers today that women findit irritating when men clean the house. Wives aremore affectionate if their husbands get on with stereotyped jobs like changing the sparking plugs orcleaning the gutters.

Where do I stand?

One of my daughters had just bought some new, expensive make-up and hadreceived a free gift of four daintywhitemuslin face cloths. She showed them to me, holding them up to the light, pattingmy cheeks with them. Sheleft them on the kitchen table while she wentout to post a letter, an absense of five minutes or so.

When she came home,the cloths were on the floor, covered in grease, motor bike grease. Her husband was in the garage,

tinkering with his motorbike. I won't go on.You know what happened.

They've been married twenty nine years.

Conclusion: marriage requires a lot of patience and the ability not to let it get to you.