Mother Instinct by Kathryn Dillard
West Coast Eisteddfod Online Poetry Competition 2016
To be a scorpion, carrying my brood on my back
for 10 to 20 days until their exoskeleton hardens
and they make their way into the world
with enough venom to kill an army
To be a human, carrying my brood in my uterus
for 280 days until they emerge naked and screaming
into a world composed of greed, conflict and pain
with seven reflexes, nothing more
I sit here and hold my growing belly in my hands,
singing to myself more than the fetus inside of me,
reassuring myself that I am armed to defend her
with fierce wisdom, devotion and love
yet after spending four days compiling a registry
of necessary items for the baby, a list of 99 items
for the first few months of infancy alone,
I wonder if evolution is driving me insane
Granted, I would never eat my baby for food
like a scorpion would if she was starving,
nor would I ever deny her of breast milk,
but how did mothers do it before registries?
The cleaning, feeding, nursing,
engaging, stimulating, sleeping,
teething, spitting up, crying
bonding, clothing, survival?
What was child rearing like
before companies gave us choices
between bottles, cribs and diapers
that have us questioning our instincts?
What was the mother instinct like
before we resigned ourselves
to handheld devices, sleep aids
brightly colored cloth and animals on parade?
Creator, if it’s alright with you,
can you please let me be a scorpion
in my next life on earth, just so
motherhood is less complicated
And yes, I know I will be feared
by all humanity and even my kin
but at least the only tools I will need
are my back, my claws, my instinct
