Forum Activity for @quentin-whistleton-thynne

Balls and All That

Humor

I was discussin with the Memsahib this very morn the merits and demerits of sending an English footer team to the Cape colony.

I'm not much of a round ball player myself, other than the occassional game of croquet or polo, but I can see the benefits of the Anglo Saxon advance guard as a first attempt to win back the Cape for all white thinking people. The Mem disagrees and suggests the Hottentot and Zulu have as much right to that land as the next fellow. This is what happens when bloody Liberals are invited to WI meetings.

But I digress.

The footer team is to be matched against Johnny Foreigner of every shade by all accounts including the Hun theFrog, theCandlemaker and Frey Bentos merchants. Nothing unusual in this other than there's no ordnance involved to liven events up a tad. Shame really as I've crossed swords with them all in my time. What gets my goat however is the fact that without a gunboat or two we never seem to win. It's a bloody disgrace.

I was skipping through the Telegraph at brecca and noticed that the incumbent crusaders had been sent to Austria, of all places, to acclimatise themselves for a tussle on the Veldt. Can't see the reasoning myself as a good jog around Scaffel Pike would suffice for their purposes methinks.

Whatever, I intend to decamp to my estates in Zimbabwe in the hope that an England victory will start orf a revolution.

REMEMBERSPION KOP.

QWT Col (rtd)

updated by @quentin-whistleton-thynne: 11/11/15 10:37:32PM

ZOUNDS

Humor

GOD'S HOLY TROUSERS!

There is nothing more appalling to the all seeing eye than a Tory and a Liberal swanning about in a manner that's likely to contravene the Love In Act of 1968. T'aint natural. T'aint pretty. T'aint nice.

The Cameron creature has sold out onhis heritage by sidling up to that whippersnapper Clegg - a manwho ,I have it on the highest authority, buys his own furniture.

There was a time when Johnny Liberal knew his place at the furthest reaches of the Empire; the American Colonies, Canada, Her Majesty's PrisonAustralia, South Africa et al all took up that preposterous notion of freedom for all white peoplewith a vengeance.

WE NEED ORDER! Preferably instilled by the gentle and considerate hands of an RSMserving inthe British army. By Gad! That takes me back to thedays of diaphanous gels, warm beer and sla.. er servants; lots of spank, respect and propriety then. Today we only see wanton spending without equity.Today I received some forty billion in back rents. That's no good to me when I could have hadeighty if they hadn't payed up. Bloody Liberalism.

QWT Col (Rtd)

updated by @quentin-whistleton-thynne: 11/11/15 10:37:32PM

Bloody Electorate

Humor

Now look here my colonial chums.

It's all very wellliving in a democracy - nonsensical egalitarian tosh - but what's the bloody point when it gives every kind of socialist Johnny a chance to blight the lives of his betters with absurd notions such asfree health care and education for all; the peasant should know his place and that place is under my boot. I will say this however. I am a great believer in noblesse oblige providing that thescum in my control surrender a daughter or two up for ius primae noctis; it's the least they can do for my allowing them to workthe land. As for the franchise! How can you possibly trust anyone who's poor, honest and God fearin' to influence the world in anyway at all.The peasant exists to work for me, fight for me and die for meas and when I wish it. I was onlysaying to the Memsahib 't'other day that what we need is a return to some good old fashioned feudalism on a global scale.

Think of it. You know it makes sense.

QWT (Col Rtd )

updated by @quentin-whistleton-thynne: 11/11/15 10:37:31PM

SAINT GEORGE AND ALL THAT NONSENSE.

Humor

Now look here! I'm not one to carp on about bloody foreigners but when I discovered that Saint George was the offspring of a candle maker and wadi merchant I almost swallowed my pipe.

It's all well and good to look up to ones betters - myself for example -but I draw the line at worshiping Johnny foreigner even if he's supposed to have slain that Celtic reptile; dragons my derierre.

What we need is a good old fashioned Englishsaint -who is the next best thing to God -to serve as a role model. I've cast my eye far and wide and as far as I may divine there is only one candidate, apart from myself, and that is the Beckham boy. True! He's never played for Southampton and is a tad rough in his linguistical delivery but he does have a fine looking ball and chain and several sprogs to boot. I'm also given to understand that he's not averse to wearing Crusader colours.

Of course should he decline I willby perforcetake on the onerous task of the Elect in order to secure my rightful place in the great beyond.

Toodle Pip

QWT (Col Rtd )

updated by @quentin-whistleton-thynne: 11/11/15 10:37:31PM