Coal Miner's Daughter - The Mabinogi goes to Merthyr Tydfil
Three Word Story Repository
Started by mona everett on October 22, 2009 at 9:42 am in Three Word Story Group<
Coal Miner's Daughter -The Mabinogi goesto Merthyr TydfilLloretta Llynn found three black diamonds sitting on a bus in Aberystwyth. These will make nice song titles for the coal miners’ male choir who drink milk stout mixed with laxatives and benzedrine and "performance" enhancers to make them gay and carefree nutters from Wales on the raz. However, it backfired. A problem arose and medical intervention prevented them from buying enough corks to make root-beer to soak their toasted cheese butties. "What will happen?" Remember the riots? Everyone went mad!! So they went singing in harmony with weapons drawn on great canvases in charcoal black.
Lloretta cleaned her front steps before beginning to sing "Sexbomb" -backwards with high, chiming ululations. Buckets in hand, and Wellington boots at the ready, she spake thus: "There's coal aplenty; come and see, two a ha'penny, coating the valleys.
"Meanwhile, back at Aberystwyth bus station, strange rumblings began within the bowels of the vehicles, their carburetors pumping. The gaffer announced, “Waiting for the big bang to . . . (according to scientists) . . . start his engines. My gherkins are frozen waiting for the sun to rise!” . . . He opened the can of worms . . . “Could be never-ending, this nonsense!
”Starting afresh, he practiced his juggling. Fists gyrating tomatoes he juggled expertly. Unable to follow, my eyes behold he dropped one! The room emptied.
“Out of order!” said those present.
But the aroma was like roses. It reminded him of juggles past their incalculable prime -acidy, steam-like, green. Bug infested viperous tool that was rarely seen! Rarely came across as enchanting, alluring or, heaven forbid, 'useful'!
Soft tomatoes fell by their dozens when the engine began to backfire. Pips shot everywhere; people shrieked, covering their children's eyes to avoid the rain of seeds and green onions! What a lot of drama for a collier's offspring. Lumps of coal between two ears, her coal-black eyes matched her fingernails and foot soles -and dark soul.
And then suddenly, she bared her impressive firm and exotic white curvaceous teeth -made of finest Welsh chalcedony laced with anthracite and English mercury, and sank them with one clean 'Snap!' deep into the string-cheese maker's Fromage des Merdes-aged to perfection compared to Caerphilly (Caws o Cymru), American Wisconsin limburger, and Penclawdd cockles. (The) Cheese maker gasped.
“Clutched cuckoo eggs are ready to mix into this mess, for a coalminer's favourite meal is Caws Wedi Pobi -with extra cheese! Don't mind the teeth marks on Les oeufs d'ur", Welsh Chef cried.
“Where's the Spam?” said the coalminer, grabbing his tool and swinging it at the string-cheese with 24one complete half axle; then, screaming in pain attempted the other.
Thus it ended . . . broken but happy -but nevertheless jubilant.
Lloretta's father decided on the shotgun with both barrels pointed and ready! Chef''d 'porked' Lloretta! Now she was an old bride; dirty as slag, and knocked up, with holes in stocking toes and sagging breasts! Poor Lloretta, so undesired by Welshmen -but loved by Butcher Hollow's miners!
All of them, and Opry cowboys led by Roy Rogers,rode towards sunset.
updated by @mona-everett: 12/13/15 08:12:18PM