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The Queen's Loo--a poem, with apologies to Dr. Seuss
I can't remember who asked for this last night during the chat at the Night of the Living Bards, but some backgound. I wrote this for the noson lawen at my first Cwrs Cymraeg in Ottawa, Canada, in 2004. It is about a sightseeing trip we took through the city. It helps if you are familiar with the rhyme pattern in Dr. Seuss' book, Grren Eggs and Ham (especially near the end of this piece).
You can go here to hear a not-so-great reading of it: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1035857
or a hilarious take by Jesse Jackson on aturday Night Live here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPxPciXcJvc
Mona
"Bus-About"
Some sat high and some sat low
and away on the bus we did go!
Some with hats gone with the wind,
others with red, sunburnt skin.
We were a hot and thirsty lot,
but passing pubs, we did not stop!
We saw the buildings on the Hill
and the statues tall and still.
While ice cream melted before we before we could lick it,
we saw a cop giving a ticket.
We spent half an hour in the Museum,
but all the exhibits! We couldn't see 'em!
But the highlight of the day
was when we stopped along the way.
At a cost of twenty grand,
we were led to understand,
was built a room for dear Queen Liz,
a private place where she could whiz.
In the garden, just in case
the need arises, she has a place.
A royal throne, if truth be told,
a wondrous wonder to behold.
We stood in line to have a peek
where Her Majesty takes her leaks.
But then the bubble at last was burst
and we heard the very worst:
She would not use it in the park;
She could not use it in the dark;
She would not use it near a tree;
She could not use, for you see--
The Queen of England does not pee!
"Dumped"??? LOL!Have at it--I haven't been to see the Limerick page in a long time.
Well, all the ladies on the bus stood in line to go have a look at the Queen's loo. Some at on it. I think I have a photo, but I have no idea where. But it was a true story--they built it there for her and, of course, she never uses it. Can you imagine her going in there? We were certain she had somene who took care of all that for her--although if she is looking for heting asistance, maybe she's on her own in other departments as well.It wasn't anything fancy, just sort of a common rest area loo.Didn't see any bees, though. BTW--I went back to bed after I posted it (had to get up to let the dogs out--the ones that had the sense to sleep last night).Like your take on it, too. I have a bunch of links to check out today--the ones the url police didn't remove.
I am sitting here all aloneIn the dark, on my chair,Which isn't at all like a throne,But old and worn, and awfully threadbare.Though if I were to have a throne,Yes, something grand to call my own,I think I shouldn't like it there.In the garden? Why, I declare!How cold it would be in the winterA wooden one might crack and splinter.I know I wouldn't want any plasticAlthough, I'm sure it must be fantasticTo have a throne of one's very ownHidden away 'midst the rocks and treesBut then again, there are those bees!And you know how they buzz about,Always darting to-and-fro, in-and-out,Imagine for a moment, please,Sitting there, trying to pee,When the bees came to procreate.Can you for a minute, anticipateThe mayhem caused, what calamity!They'd service the Queen on her throne,While you were sitting there all aloneCompletely covered in amorous drones!
By the way, I laughed and enjoyed it very much, as you can see.