Now look here!As the liver bashing season is well and truly upon us the Memsahib and I should like to remind the tenants of Her Majesty's Colony America that I fully intend to start repossession of the place in the New Year.I am not a greedy man and as such will reclaim the Commonwealth in increments; the New England and Virginia colonies will be the first to cede their sovereignty so rashly bestowed on them by General ( Stinky ) Cornwallis. I never had much opinion of Stinky other than as a third class rugger player so why anyone would entrust him with securing Blighty's property in the New World is beyond me. Stuff and nonsense! Gammon and spinach I say!.My plan will be of the subtlest order. It will incorporate stealth, an iron nerve, bribery on a vast scale and the inescapable truth that the colonials are always looking to their betters in England for leadership.I intend to smuggle tens of dozens of the Whistleton - Thynne Light Horse Militia into Buffalo via the Maid of the Mist ferry service at Niagara Falls; these will be highly trained operatives with an intricate knowledge of Americana. Each will have access to some $2 billion dollars US. Their mission will be simple. To visit every Senator and Congressman in the Colonies and make funds available to them for anything their heart's desire;I have it on the highest authority that waving cash around in American political circles can achieve anything.Blackmail will then ensue and I'll control every last man jack of the blighters.I haven't crossed the I's and dotted the T's yet but I feel sure the National United Kingdom of America (NUKAM ) will be in place by July 4th 2009 - a day which will be designated ' Reindependence Day '.But that's in the New Year.Until then may I be the first to extend the Season's Greetings to my Colonial chums. Oh by the way. When I take command of Her Majesty's Colonies once again I will make it a stipulation that extreme deference be displayed to The Memsahib and myself. We shall be referred to as Governer and Mrs Governor General of NUKAM.Toodle Pip