I sometimes believe that the term 'Chaos Theory' shouldbeapplied to my brain, rather than mathematical concepts - not that maths was one of my strongest subjects -how could it be-the brains of girls whose parents divorce have been found in tests to do less well in maths. than other girls, but on the other hand I worked in a finance department of the Civil Service for three years and was promoted andwhen the milkman's bill in school varied by a pint,I was calledto do the mental arithmetic, so?

My mind has been particulalrly mashed lately, hence the following jumble:

Dr Brian Cox, a physicist, explains complicated complexes in a simple way. (He's popularon UK television.) On Sunday morning Iread, between checking the slow roast shoulder of pork, which had to beturnedbecause it cost 10 and I wanted it to be succulent, and Peter would look at it from all angles and prod the beautiful flesh suspiciously before he started slicing it, tied up inhis striped apron thatI bought him for the purpose of carving,that Prof. Cox believes the earth formed overbillions of years, and will crumble away, thus disproving T.S.Eliot's assertion in 'The Hollow Men' that the world will end'Not with a bang but a whimper'. In other words, it will crumble, like a fresh cookie in your mouth, or cinder toffee from the County Show, of which I am particularly partial to, not caring over much for chocolate, but Ilove Montelimar Nougat, too, the way you have to work your jaws, but I'll keep off it for now, because Ionce pulled a new filling out with a Mintoe and the dentist laughed, redrilledit and charged me full price again and yesterday I had a seventy pound filling, so I'll go easily for now..

I'd heard in Sunday School, when I was about seven, that 'Heaven and Earth shall pass away', soIcould have savedEliot and Cox a lot of bother but I couldn't linger on the thought because there werecarrots topeel and chop, to go with the pork, plusthe apple sauce to prepare (with cloves, of course), sage and onion stuffing, too, andPeter doteson potatoes and I insist on a green vegetableand he can't eat brassica because he has thyroid problems and they interfere with his tablets, and then there's the gravy,(Manna from heaven for him), gallons of gravy,so I multi-tasked and jumped into the Time Machine, back to my College Days, where I read Saul Bellow, who read Koestler,who wrote that every society moves from spring to winter. And then I took another quantum leap, still in College, to the recruiting sergeant from Papua, New Guinea, whowas looking for teachers.

I watched the faces of the other students, straining to hear everything, their eyes bulging, cheeks moist with the excitement of new opportunityandthe only place I wanted to be, right there, right then, was on my way home, to cook chops and chips for tea for Emma and Kate. (I was a 'mature' student, or that's what we were called anyway, and I was thirty three.)

Thepsychology Lecturer,who was with us, read my thoughts. When the speaker stopped for water, the lecturer caught my glance, acted smartly and and said: 'Students with other lectures to attend may want to go now'.

I gathered my bags, apologised and ran for it.