I hate looking at a plain surface, bare of everything. I'm not a minimalist (natureabhors a vacuum, as you will be aware) and was never meant to be -(good Lord, you should see the things I stack away, the girls' dummies, Harry and Oliver's dummies, the Christmas, Easter, Birthdayand Mother's Day cards the girls crayoned, and even Harry and Oliver's too.

All these thingsare stored ina thick box folder, to ensure their safety. The first blue kid baby shoes, summer dresses, slippers, satchels, Harry and Oliver's 'Rompers' and didn't they romp, have a cupboard of their own. Can't think why I haven't won the Turner Prize for art, considering all the flotsam and jetsam of family life that I have netted.

But, today was a little different. Sleet, wind and rain meantwe did not leave the house. In some twisted form of logicand, asI am supposed to be cracking on with a novel, I decided to tidy the kitchen.

I can't think in the day and Ionce heard of someone who was so excited to get a book contract thather mind went blank and she suffered literary paralysis. To prevent thathappening I decidedon a spot of displacement activity.

So, it was yakka, yakka, yakka all day.Away with the Bambi salt and pepper set thatI thought was a typical example of Post Modernist Irony, awaywith theroyal blue velvet hanging with 'Mother' in silver sequins from Malta which a friend gave me. (OK, I am a mother, but why did she thinkI'd like that?)

I've heard about Archimedes' Principle of displacement but, let me tell you, practically it just doesn't work. No way. Take this as an example: (forget about water now, just follow me) Ihave six things in a cupboard. I throw away the piri piri peppers (don't want Peter having heartburn), an empty Vitamin C container (musthave thoughtit would come in handy for something, 'poverty mentality' Kate says and she couldbe right) and the almost empty tin of syrup with the lion lying down with the bees buzzing around. So, that should leave us with three items to put back on the washed shelf. Three items less to put back, that is, but 'dyna peth od', that's the funny thing, it is difficult to put a lesser number of things back in. Try it. Empty half the contents of a drawer into a bin and you think you'll have loads of room, but my way, you'll still have to stuff them back in.

Tell you what. My reasoning was perfectly correct. After a few hours 'cleaning' it was a relief to get back on the computer. What's the saying? 'The cobbler should stick to his last' and so say I.

So, it was back to the 'stream of consciousness' and the 'icky moo cow' coming down the road, or whatever. Nos Da pawb. I don't know why I'm feeling so tired tonight.