I was twenty when Betty Friedian's 'The Feminine Mystique' was published. Fishguard library kept up with the times and I borrowed a copy of the book. I soon got the jist of it: if God intended women to wash dishes He would have given them steel hands.Betty forgot to mention that men weren't born with steel hands either, so perhapsshe wasexpecting the fairies to wash up for her.

I don't know why she banged on about dishes because I could have told her that after a day working on people's pay, tax, and sickness allowances, washing the dishes could be regarded as a treat.

Imentioned Betty toPeter.He didn't find heras amusing as I did.

There was no issue about dishesin our house: Peterdid the breakfastthings during the week because I was onthe 8.45am 'bus to Trecwn. In the evening, we did them together.

I'm letting the Chwiorydd (Sisterhood) downbysaying I've always thought it's the woman's job to wash the dishes if it's the man's job to earn the money.Sorry, but I do.

Perhaps it doesn't affect me like it does some people because Peter enjoys housework. Always has. Knows everything about shining brass, removing stainsand all that.

Having been married for ever and ever, I have decided views on some things. I worked for three years when I was first married, then I washome for ten years bringing up the girls and I worked again for twenty one years. Now, this may be beyond the pale, but I have never said to Peter that I am going to put air in the tyres, wash the car and fill it with fuel. Idon't wantto be shown how to, either.(I have put fuel in the car twice in the fifty years I have been driving).

Ilike tocook our food although, when Peter retired before me, he cooked every meal during the week (though he asked me what I'd like), saw to the dishes,cleaned the house, shopped, took the car for the MOT. As soon asI retired, Icooked again and we sort thehousework between us.

But whatI am coming to is this: if a man stays at home for a few years in order to bring up the children, his wife beingthe main earner, should she support him for the rest of her life if they split?Even if he is still under forty and perfectly able to work?

Someone I've heard of ispayingher husband, who has left her, a monthly allowance, although the children no longer need him. The wifehas given her husband hisshare of the house and is still supporting herself and the children.He will also want a share of her pension, even though he did not take out his ownpension whilstat home.

I also believe that a woman should not expect aman to bank roll her for life. If a woman marries a rich man, and it does not work out, she should not expect to leave the marriage with buckets full of cash.

My advice to a couple getting married is this: washing the dishesis easy compared tosorting thecash if the fairytale crashes.