I have a tip.If you eat 'Le Tropizienne' (sponge pastry with creme patisserie and nibs of something deliciously crackly on top (spun sugar, I think), a mille feuille stuffed with strawberries and creamand then a meringue the size of a saucer, studded with pistachio nuts,in one sitting, with no one to curb your mad, wild desires, the next day you will eat onlytwo pastries at one go, apear and frangipan tart, and coconut sponge,in my case, on my plate.

I can't help it, despite Kate telling me to go easy, we areeating a meal in a few hours, I likefeelingsatiated.

I've been away for the week. I've been to Cannes, I've tasted the food, I've seen a Bugatti Veyron slide silently by, I've felt heat so hot it's slipped under my eyelids and I've stopped examiningprice tags, realising thatmost things areastronomically priced.

Kate and family were in Monacco for the day, admiring Princess Charlene's sumptuously simple Armani wedding gown. Ffion wanted to seethe fish tank in the palace grounds again and take a boat trip to Monte Carlo and I wanted to go to the marche in Cannes, whichI did.

Before leaving home I had worked out the 'Shopper's Rough Guide'to money.A pound is worth, give or take a few cents, a euro so, first stop, a pair of yellow Italian leather sandals twenty euro, 20. A bargain.

Next,a cerise straw bag forten euros. Fantastique. I had a conversation with the seller, told himI was from 'Pays de Galle', where it was usually 'froid'. He repeated it to the manon the next stall who admired my 'chapeau'.

On to thehandbags. Oui.

'Combien le sac, si'l vous plait?', I asked the teenage vendor.

'Trente'

'Thirty?'

'Oui'.

'Can you do it for less?'

'Non, je regret, but thirty french euros are the same as thirteen pounds in British money and this bag is beautiful and at thirteen pounds it is a bargain'.

'Pardon? Tell me, how do you work that out?'

'Oh, madame, my English is not good enough'.

Really? Whenit came to creative accounting, her brain was pretty good. I decided ona fifteen euro purse and she madeno furthermention of theequivalentBritish price.

It was getting on for eleven thirty by now, the temperature was in the nineties so I returnedtothe hotel, packed away the shopping,showered for the second time that morning andchanged my clothes.

Out again,to my favourite boulangerie for a slice of aubergine tart, fruit salad and a juice, nine euros. Good value.

Apres-midi Icaught the finiculaire train that goesto the old part of Cannes, much loved by Ernest Heminway and myself. I'd changed into harem trousers for the afternoon, floral and fun and all of ten euros which I'd bought the day before - (yes, there are bargains, if you know where to look).

The hour long trip was another ten euros. We passed the Carlton, where we were staying in the Clint Eastwood suite. Through the earphones we learnt the hotelwas dedicated to someone's mistress, who was called 'La Grande Horizontale' for fairly obvious reasons.

Half way through the journey,the train stopped for ten minutesand we got out. I likegoing into 'Our Lady of Hope' church at the top of the old town but it was closedfor some reason so I wandered down a side street instead.

I won't bore you with how I showered four times that day and room servicechanged the towels each time.

Later that evening, as we went for a meal, Ffion andI walked together.In front of us was a man of about twenty with his girlfriend. He was around six feet four inches, with light blond hair and pale skin and was wearinga white shirtwith grass green silk knotted cuff links andcanvas trousers in the same shade, with a yellow belt and black suede shoes. I whispered to Ffion that perhaps he was a model.

Later, when wesat in the dusk overlooking the bay, a tall woman went by. Her hair and skin were dark and she was dressed in a short black frock but with a long lace train. As we watched her, the breeze swirled the lace above her head, as though she was some fabulous creature from the sea. Catching our admiring glances, she turned to smile.

I knew then I'd spottedthe god and goddess of the Croisette that night.