Last week,Maudieand Ffionsaidthat in the leavers' 'Gwasanaeth' in school,messageswere read out, wishing'PobLwc' to those going to Ysgol Y Preseli.

'Everyone cried: the headteacher, the teachers and' (most impressively for the girls) 'even the boys'.

Later, I was summoned tothe garden,to see a dead blue-tit. We placed the unfortunatebirdin aflower-pot, linedwith an acanthus leaf to give it some dignity.

Maudieappointed herself 'Vicaress'. Ffion and I took the roles of 'Chief Mourners', in this other type of leaving ceremony. The traditional words ofthe Burial Service rolled off Maudie's tongue.(Do they show burialson 'Hannah Montana?').

Then theflower pot was givento Ffion, who said 'Goodbye, tweetie pie' and to myself, who added 'Killed by a pussy cat'.

'No, No!' Maudie wouldn't allow that. Cats do no wrong.

Afterwards, wewashed our hands and the girls picked petals and soaked their feet in pans of warm water, strewn with the petals.

After we'd eatena punnet of pica-pica cherries, theyfoundaTV musicchannel. I wasallowed to choose the songs and we danced to 'Ra Ra Rasputin' and the 'Bosa Nova', asI didn't know any of the others.

When my daughters arrived to take the girls home, they asked if we'd had a nice time, which set me thinking: time and space, how do we evaluate it, thoughts of thatkind.

Icould have said we'd covered 'empathy' and religion, (the school service and the bird's funeral), hygiene, (washing hands and feet), botany (the petals), nutrition (the cherries), health and safety (the cherry stones), technology (the TV), music and movement (dance) if I'd wanted to sound educational, but all we did wasenjoy ourselves.

Trouble is, I'm concentrating too much on whatpeople say.

T.S.Elliot said time past, present and future shall be one, sowhy do we insist on talking about 'quality' time. Ever heard anyone say 'I'm off to spend some rubbish time with my children', so whythe

insistence on talking about quality time? All time is a gift which doesn't last, that's one pointto remember.

Then those people in slimming magazineswho cut their weight down 'for me'. Who was it they got fat for, then?

('Me' knows that if 'me' can't hold back on the veggie crisps'me's' going to get fat.)

Then there's the mothers whodo things 'for me', after bringing their children up.

'Me's'no brain box but 'me' knows 'me' had the children for 'me'.

'Me' took a job so that'me' wouldn't go off'me' head vacuuming all day. Most of the things 'me' has done in 'me' life is because 'me' wanted to.

Without going into a philosophical debate about the degree of choice one has or has not, let's try to be honest when deciding what and why wedo things. As Freud said, theconsequences of ouractions reveal our motivation and perhaps we shouldspend some time considering that.