Forum Activity for @ceri-shaw

Ceri Shaw
@ceri-shaw
12/08/15 04:46:35PM
568 posts

Zombi Cathod Mawr - Kittahs of the Mabinogi


Three Word Story Repository




This one's rubbery and inflatable, perhaps I'll just blow inside the hole. The sheep expanded and exploded with a mighty bleet alerting watchful corgi with his tail. The corgi sang a woefull song. Drenching the hills the rains came with Brains Bitter. Brains bitter for bitter corgis and their tails wearing Welsh Wellies and checkered shawls; with the dragon leading the way...

So it began! The story of zombi cathod mawr... covered in mud from head to toe with their little known secret language! Unfathomable "ll"s littered with "FFs" following. Well, I'll be needing a dictionary from Dai Ram before this is translated into another mess from which nothing but swahili could decipher it with the exception of wenglish possibly or maybe klingon. This needed a bigger, better book with more vowels to open up... a clever llyfr. 'The Speaking Book' explained the mystery by telling tales of kitty tails in lovely Wales. When Sion Cwilt closed the book he finally understood why he was married to Myfanwy the preacher's daughter. She could read the Kama Sutra and Reader's Digest in one day while horse riding and sitting backwards, spurs in reverse, with his shackles like the sea calling him home to his cottage in Abertonllwyd Street.

Whilst on honeymoon, Geraint the cat was distracted by a poetic mouse called Minnie. From this mouse muse near Tonyrefail in August, Geraint learned how to pass wind in public and accuse dog Pero the Corgi of farting. Instead, Corginistas were born. How were they? Where’s my collie gone to now? Behind the cat? Upon the mat, where he sat? The collie barked at the cat; the cat spat and started singing a strange song containing large crotchets and some quavers (about a saucepan filled with semiquavers and hugechords) and many-colored goats. The cat said, “Now look goat!!! Stop singing and eating quavers.” "Okay," goat answered, “take a break from flogging mice! Instead, I will recite a poem whilst setting the netting around my buxom wench, with her fantastic knowledge of poetry: ‘Under the spreading . . . of her neat chestnut tree . . .’

”Then, with a blinding insight into American foreign diplomatic arguments, he raised his thick right eyebrow and fell over dead! Thus ended his affair with the modern world; becoming goat cheese with some morsels of hot pepper on toast. Points towards the extraordinary flavoured goat’s cheese moral of the masticated mouse moment story! 'Who wins?' Geraint certainly doesn't. The wine flowed. Like Thomasina, he stretched his tongue and licked his plate which was closer than his favorite can of condiments. "You...stop! Or I'll hammer holes in cat-food”.

Thus it ended, with the hammer poised to crash on cat-tail bones. A flesh-eating slug purring contentedly ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’.Rats in Pain, still charging onwards at sluggish pace ran down by.  A huge mouse with afterburners ignited, charged toward Geraint -with tail erect, gimlet eyes glitt'ring, little rat teeth ready to nibble at little oysters (Geraint's 'privates', euphemistically) seasoned with special crisp pepper. Cayenne! That's so hot -as bad as Paris Hilton's porno movie about pussies, Tom and Jerry!

That’s all Folks!


updated by @ceri-shaw: 12/11/15 09:15:35PM
Ceri Shaw
@ceri-shaw
12/08/15 02:21:28AM
568 posts

Nerds of the Mabinogi ( Archive )


Three Word Story Repository


Nerds of The Mabinogi - COMPLETE


 

 

Posted by Ceri Shaw on February 18, 2010 at 2:34pm in Three Word Story Group

Here at Americymru we take our b/s very seriously. Many of you assume that the administration of our three word group is a haphazard and random process. Let me assure you that such is not the case. We have developed a highly sophisticated command and control mechanism which ensures that the b/s flows in the correct channels at all times and that the sluice gates are opened on schedule. Thanks to member, Swansea Jack we are now in a position to allow you to take a peak at our 'flow' charts in action. if you click on the following link, you will be privileged to witness the esoteric workings of our administrative hub in action for the first time:-  http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=t-0PrqTNiVq-GGDbWKBcoWA&... Check back every couple of days or so for updates.

Meanwhile the new story below, 'Nerds of the Mabinogi' is a tribute to the backroom boys  including Swansea Jack who keep our literary odyssey afloat and ensure that we are not swamped in a tidal wave of our own effluent Laugh

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Pepsi and Doritos, Twinkies and Kit-Kats piled up around peeled carrot spears, empty beer cans and potato peelings, mini slide rules - a nerd's fodder! (or his 'mudder' - shortening his dungarees, ironing his shirt-pockets, 'band-aid'ing his spectacles, tying his bowtie, mousse-ing the cowlick.)

Oh, the fun! - spell 'Oedipus complex!'

Nerd #1 forgot: “chap-sticks, matching pipe 'n' slippers . . .”

‘MAD’ magazine clutched with great aplomb, ‘Spy vs Spy’ , carefully dog-eared, Nerd #2 began alphabetizing his L a T e X running pants (and) reorganizing his money so as to sort the rows according to date and sell-by . . . the sell-by date - if formatted correctly!

He wetted himself with his spit. As he spat at his mouse, his cursor winked - neatly doing rounds over his laptop, moving his toolbar at speed of lightning!

"What next" said he, ejaculating loudly - inserting and removing his floppy disc in and out -“My disc is sorely fragmented again! I need more floppies and Cadbury's milk chocolate bars melted over cockles and Milky Ways covered with gravy. ‘Tis tax season. My spreadsheets! My calendar is outdated!! Ma-ma!!! Fix my bedroom electronic toys they don't worrrkkk!!”

“Out of Order!” Grandma barked. Startling (him), (she) switched on the broken 'counting' mechanism, and stamped back - using her fingers to poke eyes, ignoring the rules.

But enjoying himself until Grandma shouted, Nerd #2 continued picking at zits muttering in Latin and carpet slippers bearing abacus logos reciting Avrogadro's Hypothesis mixed with Pythagoras's thee-rems, Pilgrim's Progress and a bit of


updated by @ceri-shaw: 12/11/15 09:12:32PM
Ceri Shaw
@ceri-shaw
12/08/15 12:50:48AM
568 posts

Blod's Whelks ( Live! )


Three Word Story


 

Aunt Blod was stirring a pan of curried whelks in the gegin when.....

 

 


updated by @ceri-shaw: 12/13/15 08:21:11PM
Ceri Shaw
@ceri-shaw
12/08/15 12:47:15AM
568 posts

Pryderi's Pigs - They're Back, This Time It's Personal ( Live! )


Three Word Story


 

(Any subtle reference to the original Mabinogi story which you can read  HERE would be kewl but not obligatory)

Outside the pub trouble was brewing.....


updated by @ceri-shaw: 12/14/15 05:48:28PM
Ceri Shaw
@ceri-shaw
12/08/15 12:43:45AM
568 posts

Warriors of The Mabinogi - The Noble Art ( Live! )


Three Word Story


 

Dai and Ianto are having a contretemps outside the Leek'n'Bladder Public House.

 


updated by @ceri-shaw: 03/28/19 09:16:23PM
Ceri Shaw
@ceri-shaw
12/08/15 12:40:24AM
568 posts

Ianto Goes To Bosworth ( Live! )


Three Word Story


Ianto follows the Mab Darogan to Bosworth field. The year is 1485 and Ianto is very, very drunk......


updated by @ceri-shaw: 12/14/15 09:16:51PM
Ceri Shaw
@ceri-shaw
12/07/15 11:56:02PM
568 posts

St Pyr's Day ( Live! )


Three Word Story




From the Wikipedia :- "On the first day of April in villages around Wales it is the custom to throw one's oldest living male relative down a well in honour of St Pyr. St Pyr was the dissolute former abbot of Caldey Island who died after falling down a well as a result of extreme intoxication. Regarded in Wales as a national hero his 'Saints Day' is celebrated  annually at gatherings on village greens during which participants dance around the well with pints of real ale singing "Yo ho...ho ho ho. Throw the ole b*****d down the hole" The festivities reach a climax when the oldest male relative is shoved down the well where he is left overnight with a pail of ale which is lowered down after him."  Prof Dai Twaddle

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Image on this page Oliver Dixon via Wikimedia Commons


updated by @ceri-shaw: 12/11/15 11:08:55PM
Ceri Shaw
@ceri-shaw
12/07/15 11:48:17PM
568 posts

Geraint Spied Natasha ( Archived: Complete )


Three Word Story Repository




.

After the match Geraint spied Natasha eyeing his kilt. A passing seagull swerved drunkenly and crashed into the cold, aluminum railing emptying its lunch in Natasha's handbag fouling the detonator just as Geraint brandished his sword vivisecting the seagull. .

"Seagull souffle tonight! Natasha. Join me?" .

But Natasha wasn't an adventuresome damsel. So she declined enraging him to white heat. Grabbing a nearby sixpack he stumbled backward cursing when he fell into the cheese string maker bursting his cans. He slurped beer from the sidewalk where someone had dropped their wallet and also dropped a red hankerchief. Natasha stooped to steady her gunnels and nice gunnels they were too. Then she shook the stringcheese maker's trumpet.Great pink socks he had stuffed down his plump wibbly wellies. Geraint suddenly remembered he was undercover and concealed his big red dragon under his trenchcoat while staring at Natasha's fine gunnels. Suddenly the cheeseman popped his cork. .

"My birthd ay suit needs a severe overhaul with a precious baby's hug and . . . " she said: "Ahhh, poor baby, cheese, beer, soufflée! Let me fix your bicycle tire; the bottom's flat on Cardigan corracle." Natasha began to pump it up and he screamed: "It's gonna blow like Semtex!" .

However, Dai held Myfanwy. His rubber broke close to his ear deafness ensued. In short order came eggs, bacon. He held his paper plate up, pushing past Patricia: "More please sir, this has too many plums perforce", Patricia said. "Chew them well, boy; plump and chewy like my gunnels!". .

Steady, lad and quit referencing gunnels. Refer to hers. Exploding with might, it was so devastating to know plums packed powerful like powder kegs turning into black mist of cloud; mists of time and, suddenly, a mighty thunder clap woke the cheeseman who shouted out, "I have to make my cheeses stringier to compete in tomorrow's National Food festival competition; to win the 'Smelly Foot' cup (Mickey Mouse trophy) to make peace with my countrymen and the other naysayers who said Worra Bob Hope. Road to Zanzibar, Bing in bling, Fred in red and other nonsense such as the the George Cross poor cross George. .

Cross eyed George cried all night, then as dawn broke Geraint the Dragon sneezed on George . . . swine flu germs, directly from Mexico! Snot shot everywhere covering George with uchafi and other disgusting dangly detritus. So, there started a sing song of Welsh hymns and goat counting fervor whilst eating cheese in Abertridwr sauce with Pontlottyn pilau. Such a feast; finished in Llanbradach with the Dragon full of pudding. He climbed over Caerphilly mountain with a big turtle up his jumper, and a Pontypridd milkmaid on his ‘you know what’ pulled out a multitude of wet and dry sandpaper and gently rub bed his Welsh oak walking stick until . . . until a smile of sheer satisfaction crossed his mouth. He then proceeded to rub some beeswax into his oak and mahogany. A rash started. "Fetch the doctor and bring a sexy nurse quickly to rub in my oozing . . . " .

Badly constructed sentence? Then start by running cool water over your vowels and an alliterate prescription promptly prescribed with wonderful Welsh and all aquiver massage medication manfully with wet wipes until uncle's ukulele played Patricia’s piece. . . twangs terminology tunefully, zzzz......
zzzz...... zzzz...... songs sap spirits evoking elementary epochs. During Dai's daring . . . Enough everyone, enough! Edward, ever enjoyed Dil, don't dally . . . philately, phonetics, philandering with Welsh women finally feeling friendly . . . “Can someone concentrate?” enquired Dai's uncle.Dai: "Beat it, or else I'll...rub your nose call your mam!” .

Thus it ended. Much to Dai's chagrin, he wailed, "But you can't lose that loving . . . that hiraeth feel ing like losing your . . . sense of purpose, up Natasha's skirt; a feeling like . . . " A creature stirred when he recovered. .

Then the Reverend Eli Jenkins prayed: "Lord, give me two stand tickets or Natasha's body butter. And I will cover (completely) myself in shame!” Not only that, but in conclusion, the moral of this saga is always remember to wear your drawers with Celtic pride and just say, "Cymru am byth". .




updated by @ceri-shaw: 12/07/15 11:49:02PM
Ceri Shaw
@ceri-shaw
12/07/15 11:41:58PM
568 posts

Welsh Border Patrol ( Archived: Complete )


Three Word Story Repository


Started by Ceri Shaw on September 15, 2009 at 2:33 pm in Three Word Story Group



Interrupting his snack comprised of Ale and pork rinds he suddenly remembered his dog was locked in the ty bach back in Aberbargoed with a saxon wench of proper age to be jailbait. Looking for screwdriver to reload rocketlauncher to pop open y ty bach he found instead...a saggy hag...in a golfbag... "what a drag...to be squeezed...and rhymed poorly". Though better bard the border was. So thus began the saga of the lonesome border patrolman and his ever trusty sidekick. Offa the dyke offered to hold the patrolman's hand as leaned leaned as far as the law allowed. Morning frost prohibited walking barefoot on Llyn Tegyd, Bala thus the copter came into action, looped the loop while singing arias over Offa's Dyke ...ar hyd y nos..., and onward. On to Criccieth for a cuppa.

Then there arose playing his harp the mighty Bendigeidfran riding his horse Luagor past Cadwalader's with a pint under his belt. "What's that smell?" "Haggis" said Scotty from Star Trek. Scotty smiled timidly knowing what he knew. To be true 'twas Ianto Penuwch..."Remove that kilt. Prove you're Scottish! See ma sporran, count the wrinkles. Scotty fingered the wrinkles with care, smoothing down his moustache while he adjusted his kilt, tightened his safety pin, washed his hands with undiluted Drano before he realized his greatest ambition! Meanwhile after the moon came up, his eyes twinkled with supreme mischief; he decided to light the fuse and take cover.

Bombs away! That fulfills my dreams. In that moment the ty bach was quite warm; something was burning! Oh! Sh*t! Dai what a size, you jerk, said the drunken nun. I've seen bigger doodahs on a Russian dwarf hamster in my dreams! Talking of dreams, his lady snored like a warthog on Mynydd Gwair and began muttering Mabinogi tales in languages that resembled sounds of regurgitating bullfrogs. In fact.... it caused a riot in Rhyl, altercation in Abercynon, ructions in Ruabon, bedlam in Bedlinog, madne ss in Machynlleth, carelessness in Caerffifi and aimless alliteration amongst the AmeriCymru.

But in Pontlliw, they swatted flies (already flypaper dead) easier to hit using hair lacquer, they spread them on currant biscuits with a little bit of care and Felinfach milk! Good to eat especially in Gino's 'Eating Food' salon spread with pizza and bara lawr and pickle relish and garlic bread ... all mixed with unresolved edible stories... , baccala chunks, fisheyes, and other jungle critters deep fried crispy greasy, grimy gophers with witchery grub and Caerphilly croutons; special mother-in-law treat!

Then the thunder roared across the methane gas vents. Thinking ahead, they prepared to mount a dozen horses, their hearty steeds and stalwart stallions . .

Thus it ended that great illusive "Ddraig Goch" hunt for MonsterTruck Derby starting in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllandussulioogogoch (a Liverpool suburb with Walmart) and continuing through Llanerchymedd strip malls where people took off their shoes to do lewd things and crept silently among waiting tires/tyres in mousey ways.

So, at last, one sleeping MonsterTruck pulled into Abergavenny, slipped into a truck funk, fueled the chopper, and flew gracefully away. The shoeless people wildly waved westward saying their fond Hwyls and Amens hoping this is the final goodbye, that last fairwell


updated by @ceri-shaw: 11/24/19 06:16:51PM
Ceri Shaw
@ceri-shaw
03/25/14 10:55:53PM
568 posts

The last turkey in the shop


General Discussions ( Anything Goes )

Hi Philip.....diolch for posting....I think we're going to have to get some sort of poll on here so readers can vote for their favourite story. What do you think?

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