Socialism:

You have 2 cows and give 1 to your neighbour.

Communism:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you the milk.

Nazism:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

Traditional Capitalism:

You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Surrealism:

You have 2 giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

An American Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A French Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You go on strike, organise a riot and block the roads, because you want 3 cows.

A Japanese Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A German Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they lived for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

An Italian Corporation:

You have 2 cows but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A Russian Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have 5 cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A Swiss Corporation:

You have 5000 cows. None of them belongs to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A Chinese Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

An Indian Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You worship them.

A British Corporation:

You have 2 cows. They're both mad.

An Iraqi Corporation:

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh*t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy.

Welsh Corporation:

You have 2 cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

An Australian Corporation:

You have 2 cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

* I don't know the author of this but I think it's so clever.

updated by @gaynor-madoc-leonard: 11/11/15 10:37:45PM