Having a bad day? Think again!
These are funny........
>
> 1). THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY:
>
> Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of
> forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male
> was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,
> flippers, and facemask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not
> from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a
> positive identification.
>
> Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up
in
> the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire,
> the person went for a diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the
> forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as
> possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets.
> Water was dipped from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and
> emptied.
>
> You guessed it.
> One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he
was
> doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.
>
> Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. This article was taken
from
> the California Examiner, March 20, 1998.
>
> 2). STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY?
> A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the
> kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it
> accidentally slipped into gear.
>
> The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged through the glass
> patio doors and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the
> house.
>
> The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her
husband
> lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him,
and
> the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone
> and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the
> wife went down the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the
> paramedics to her husband.
>
> After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the
> wife up righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was
> spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the
> gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.
>
> The man was treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he
looked
> at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle.
>
> He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and
> smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between
his
> legs into the toilet bowl while seated.
>
> The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband
> screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the
> floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the
> buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin.
>
> The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same
> paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The
> paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began
> carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the
> street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how
the
> husband had burned himself.
>
> She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them
> slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down
the
> remaining stairs and broke his arm.
>
> Taken from a Florida Newspaper.
>
> 3). STILL HAVING A BAD DAY? Just remember, it could be worse...
> The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill
> in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
> saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause
from
> onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
>
> 4). . . . .A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
> frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards
the
> electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she
> whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm
in
> two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to his
Walkman.
>
> 5) . . . . Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
> sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the pigs, all
two
> thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and
> stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
>
> 6). And finally...
> . . . . . Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a
> letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it.
>
> Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
>
> Now, your day's not so bad, is it?
updated by @ian-price2: 12/15/15 09:38:24AM
