Follow the 'Crap Wife' blog here Diary of A Crap Wife

Something sad happened today. Husband has found out the truth about James May. For about two years now I've been making up fake-facts and feeding them casually to him. I award myself one point every time he passes off the fake-fact to a third party as truth.

One of them has been rumbled- I heard him on the phone earlier telling a mate that James May (from Top Gear) is Brian May's (from Queen) brother. The mate on the end of the phone clearly knew better as husband has since been staring at me with suspicion, I thought at first it was lust, but no, it'sdefinitelysuspicion.

He asked to use the laptop and has now discovered that James May has one brother, but Brian May is an only child. Even in Wales, that doesn't add up (and we're used to hearing of women with 4 kids by five different fathers "I got pregnant with Tanya on a threesome, so they both comes to see her." )

It's the end of an era, albeit a very short one, but that particular fake fact has earned me 18 valuable points in my quest to break him. On the plus side, he didn't catch Aids from the laptop.

Don't get me wrong, the mini-game is far from over, there are plenty of lies left. Little fabrications from a sick imagination... things I've casually fed to him over coffee,Thaifishcakes or scrabble. It's just that that one was the first, and you never forget your first. Well you do, but you lie about it.

I suppose a part of me is worried that he's going to start doubting the validity of some of my other gems as well. But, being the ever clever crap wife that I am, I did prepare for this when I started the game. You see, I don't just feed him lies. For every nonsensical snippet I tell him, I also tell him something else that's true and similar to the lie thatprecededit- the James/Brian May lie was followed with the Jonathon/Paul Ross truth... This way, when a day like today arrives, I have a 50% chance of getting away with it, depending on which fact he remembers.

A great example of this would be my personal favourite lie- the tale of Jason and the Argonauts. You'll need a bit of background on this one so I'll try and keep it brief.

Jason and the Argonauts is a particularly kitsch film circa 1963 based loosely on Greek Mythology (I think) that boasts some serious dodgy special effects. Absolutely Brilliant.

Taken from Jason and the Argonauts, Columbia Pictures.

Cauldy Island is a very small and remote island off the coast of Pembroke in West Wales- it has aMonasteryand small museum, makes beautiful perfumes and is tremendously pretty. (Even though there's fuck all there.)

Caldey Island - Sean Bolton

I may have accidentally told husband, while watching aforementioned film, that the scene where a large metal warrior monster thingy is straddling land and island and trying to kill the hero, was filmed on Cauldy Island. On Richard Burton'sinsistence.

This of course is bollocks.

I've no idea where cinematic pearl Jason and the Argonauts was filmed, but I'm pretty effing sure it wasn't Cauldy Island.

'Hang on, I've been to Cauldy Island, and I didn't see anything about Jason and the Argonauts...' he challenged at the time.

'Husband, there's a whole section dedicated to it behind the post office - trust you not to notice anything important that's happened in my country, if that had happened in England you'd be all over it..! You're so arrogant....'

I was all geared up to carry on and nag him into submission, no need though:

'Oh yeah, I think I remember something...' he says.

I didn't for one minute think I'd got away with that one until I was able to award myself a point about a month later when I heard him regurgitating it to his mother. Bingo. This fact by the way was followed by a truth I read in the paper saying that Tim Burton had based his Gotham City on Port Talbot Steel Works. 50% foolproof plan.

Amazing really, but writing about being a crap wife is actually making me a better wife. Ish. I ran husband a bath earlier, and took him a beer- he's up there now counting his lucky stars for a wife who takes such good care of him. I, of course, am down here telling the internet about how I torture him. Still, he's happy.

I think I may forgo the nightly challenges this evening. I found a booklet of post it notes earlier and have spent all day writing on them. 'Cock Sucker' 'Bummer' 'Homo' and so on. I have placed these post-its on the pages of his current book at irregular intervals. Every few pages he'll get a little treat. Unfortunately, I found the post-its in the garage and the sticky bit had long since deteriorated so I was forced to stick them to his book with No More Nails. I have also glued a couple to the soles of his shoes.

It was a glorious spring afternoon when we arrived at Frolics restaurant in Southerndown on the coast of the Vale of Glamorgan.

The reception was as sunny as the weather - gleaming white tablecloths and neat and not over-fussy dcor giving a relaxed vibe. The food demanded not to be placed in any particular pigeon-hole in terms of style. Restaurant owners Andrew and Donna Dudley do things in their own particular style.And that style is certainly a hit.

When we visited as a party of four the main restaurant was full. There is an overflow cellar restaurant which seats nearly 20 and that will doubtless come into service as the season develops. The set menu of three-course lunch on a Sunday was priced at 18.50. That may seem a bit pricey but, sample the food, and youll see its a bargain.

Andrew Dudley is the master of his own kitchen and he revels in the challenge of providing a range of different dishes.

For starters, there was a choice of cream of white vegetable soup; Frolics fish platter, crab mayonnaise, miniature king prawn cocktail and cold poached salmon and coriander roll, pea shoots and vinaigrette; goats cheese with a pistachio nut and beetroot lollipop with a sweet red wine and beetroot jelly and cream cheese cornet; spiced oriental style crispy beef salad with spiced mayonnaise; warm salad of smoked bacon, black pudding and caramelised red onion topped with poached egg, red wine syrup.

The mains menu was equally as extensive roast sirloin of Welsh Black beef with Yorkshire pudding and beef gravy; a selection of Pwllywrach lamb cuts, roast leg, braised shoulder, confit shoulder and rolled breast with lamb gravy; roast breast of free range Monmouthshire chicken, roast sauce; Provence style fish stew topped with gremolata and pea shoots, soda bread, purple potatoes; a tasting of vegetarian dishes, a Charlotte of Mediterranean vegetables and Brie de Meaux, tomato and parmesan tart, a savoury baklava.

And, finally, the desserts a trio of tarts, caramelised apple, treacle and lemon; American style Baileys and vanilla cheesecake, Bara Brith ice cream; Frolics sweetie shop; Lemon curd panna cotta, peach sauce and chopped pistachio nuts; Frolics chocolate desserts, White nemesis, white chocolate panna cotta and chocolate sorbet. Our table went for the fish platter, goats cheese, crispy beef and warm salad to start.

For mains, we plumped for the lamb, the chicken and the beef. Vegetables were served as side dishes and were as plentiful as they were delicious. To finish, we picked the cheesecake, the lemon curd panna cotta, the chocolate desserts and the sweetie shop, which turned out to be a magic mix of Turkish delight, sherbet dips and nougat style ice cream.All in all, a real treat and there was a hearty round of applause for Andrew Dudley and his team.The service was swift and pleasant and the bill, including drinks, came to a neat 88.You can pay just as much at a Beefeater, but trust me the food wont be in the same class as Frolics.A return trip will be on the menu shortly.Frolics is at 52 Beach Road, Southerndown, CF32 0RP. Tel.: 01656 880127

Wales Castles are Britains most popular attraction with foreign visitors according to a new Visit Britain report looking at what overseas travellers want to see most when they come to Britain.

Wales castles proved to be more popular than Buckingham Palace and shopping in Harrods.

Read what more than 10,000 foreign tourists had to say!

Note: Interestingly, the main article did not name the book! I dug around and found it: 'Dead Men Risen: the Welsh Guards and the Real Story of Britains War in Afghanistan by Toby Harnden is published by Quercus Publishing at 18.99 and available from Telegraph Books at 14.99 plus 1.25 p&p. Call 0844 871 1515 or visit books.telegraph.co.uk

You can read background by the author here.

Thetruth about the events surrounding the death of the highest ranking officer to be killed in the Afghanistan conflict has been revealed in a new book.

Lieutenant Colonel Rupert Thorneloe was killed in action in July 2009 while commanding the 1st Battalion Welsh Guards in Helmand Province.

Now, a new book brings to light the concerns Lt Col Thorneloe had about the safety of his battalion before his death.

The book, by Toby Harnden of the Daily Telegraph, reveals Lt Col Thorneloe was getting increasingly frustrated by the lack of men and equipment he had for the battalions tasks.

He told one of his officers that he believed Operation Panthers Claw was flawed.

A RALLYING cry has gone out from Conwys ailing mussel industry, which is calling for more support from local people and businesses.

Conwys mussels are famous for being amongst the best in the world, but many local businesses are buying in Anglesey mussels, or rope grown mussels from Ireland and Scotland.

Although the industry is hundreds of years old in the town, there are now only six men who regularly go out in their boats to rake in the mussels, in the traditional way.

Trefor Jones, a partner in The Conwy Mussel Company, admitted this current season has been a tough one.

The mussel industry in Conwy is declining each year, its very sad.

Read more of the history of Conwy's mussels.

A SCHOOLGIRL from Colwyn Bay is celebrating after taking the top spot at a national beauty contest.

Victoria Tooby won the Miss Teen Galaxy award in a glittering grand final at the Daresbury Park Hotel, Cheshire. Victoria competed against contestants from across the country but walked away with the crown.

She will now represent Wales in the Miss Teen Galaxy International contest in Chicago in the USA this August.

Read on here: http://www.northwalespioneer.co.uk/news/99867/colwyn-bay-s-miss-teen-galaxy-heads-to-usa.aspx

A reporter who grew up in Monmouth has become one of the first to reach the Minamisenriku district in Japan following the earthquake .

CNN correspondent Paula Hancocks, who studied at the Wales, Cardiff, reported live from the disaster area.

Wouldn't you just know it--there was a Welshman behind Pi?

Celebrate Pi Day!

William Jones , FRS (1675 3 July 1749) was a Welsh mathematician , most noted for his proposal for the use of the symbol (the Greek letter pi ) to represent the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter . He was a close friend of Sir Isaac Newton and Sir Edmund Halley . In November, 1711 he became a Fellow of the Royal Society , and was later its Vice-President. ^[1]

Read all about William Jones, from Anglesey, here , so you can amaze your friends with your grasp of trivia!

Pi, Greek letter ( ), is the symbol for the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Pi Day is celebrated by math enthusiasts around the world on March 14th. Pi = 3.1415926535

infinitely without repeating. The symbol for pi was first used in 1706 by William Jones, but was popular after it was adopted by the Swiss Leonhard Euler in 1737.

Buy Pi merchandise, send an ecard, and learn more than you want to about Pi here: http://www.piday.org/

Jennifer Bowen has qualified as a Certified Chartered Accountant with leading West Wales accountants and business consultants Clay Shaw Butler.

The qualification is further evidence of Clay Shaw Butlers commitment to training and developing staff members.

Jennifer, who lives in Whitland and is married with a young daughter, was educated at Whitland Primary School and Ysgol Dyffryn Taf.

She joined Clay Shaw Butler in 2007 as an accounts trainee studying towards the Chartered Certified qualification.

Clay Shaw Butler is accredited as a Platinum status Training Office with the Association of Chartered Certified Accountants. There are currently three trainees working towards the qualification with Clay Shaw Butler. In addition, there are two trainees working towards the Association of Accounting Technician qualification.

Clay Shaw Butler director David Butler said: I am extremely pleased to welcome Jennifer into the Practice as a newly-qualified accountant. We have Investors in People status and we will continue to invest in the development of Clay Shaw Butler team members.

Clay Shaw Butler now has eight qualified team members able to assist in accountancy and taxation advice for clients of all sizes.

The team at Clay Shaw Butler can be contacted on 01267 228500 or through the website at www.clayshawbutler.com

The window, showing a black Christ, was considered "bold" at the time

Forty-eight years ago an act of terrorism on the other side of the Atlantic created such an outpouring of sentiment, that its solidarity reached Wales.

On 16 September 1963, a splinter group of the Ku Klux Klan planted a bomb at the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama, which killed four black girls attending Sunday school.

While few outside of Birmingham's African-American community displayed much sympathy, youngsters in Wales were so touched by the tragedy that they quickly raised the funds to replace the church's .

Their message of support from Wales is remembered in a BBC Radio Four documentary at 1130 GMT on Thursday.

Kathleen Bunton, a member of the church and lifetime resident of Birmingham, said: "I was surprised that people cared about blacks altogether.

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