Art attack part 2

Philip evans
03/13/14 07:57:17PM
31 posts
I dont follow? said Horsehair. Bell-ends this way! came a shout from the public gallery. West Side said an anonymous voice.The Court returned to hysterics at the expense of the establishment.Once the laughter had finished, the barrister tried again. So you deny that spray-painting a wall not in your ownership is not criminal damage? asked the Horsed-One. That is a matter of both opinion and intent- if you know wotta mean man mens rea- a person could for example- look to improve the look of the building in the name of art! said the kid. Look the primary role of Government in this Country is to protect Property from the Majority and so it remains interceded the Judge. I move for a mis-trial! Bates shouted loudly. Fineif that is what you brother will chair the next one and he is known as the Hanging Judge! said Justice Balls . Hanging Balls.that brings tears to my eyesI dont think I want that mental picture..Ill stick with you Judge .at least I know that I will get a fair triallike Dic Penderyn did before this Court! said Bates. Prosecution.please continue! ordered Balls to Horsehair. So is that why they call you Wanksy the street artist who paints penises on the side of buildings in that your trademark W flourish coming out of the top of the drawing? asked Counsel. I take the fifth! replied the street artist. Balls too! said Horsehair.The Judge looked at him as if he had defamed his good family name.The Police station wall was adorned with not just a penis but testicles too! said the barrister trying to get the already bias trial judge further onside. The art-work was sym-bollock! quipped Bates. Symbolic of what? asked Horsehair missing the jibe but pleased he had finally loosened the tongue of the defendant in order that he could indict himself with his own words. Sym-bollock of how nuts the system is in this Country is.of the oppression of the working man.! said Horsehair. So you openly admit to criminally damaging the Police station Wall by way of a political sloganoh dear! said the Counsel. Like you admitted earlier in your statement it was an adornment! said the youth realising his words were being twisted . Strike that from the record..please! said the Judge to the recorder. So do you also admit damaging the wall of the new Health Park Buildings by painting a figure of a naked man with crabs hanging from the window of the STD Clinic? barked Horsehair. No! said Bates I am fighting for his own freedom and the freedom of expression of everyone in this Court he continued as an impromptu round of applause followed the clap clinic remark. How very nobledo you also admit spray painting a huge pair of breasts on the side of the Welsh Assembly building immediately on the exterior of the office rented by the company called GRAFT that supplies Rail-track workers that keep this fine Country moving? he pontificated. That is a terrible case of Graffition a spanking new building too! said the barrister trying to get the jury on his side by pricking their conscience. GRAFT- TITTY actually! smirked Bates remembering with pleasure that one done at 3.00am by torchlight. Your campaign against the administrative powers that control Merthyr is one of an Anarchist nature.anti-establishmentanti-capitalism anti-waranti fascism..spray painting the side of the Police Helicopter that circled the Gurnos with a huge rasher of bacon under the slogan .Pigs will Fly!!!!! said Horsehair trying to inject a sense of community conscience to influence the Jury into siding with him.The Merthyr Jury once more erupted in hysterics- to the dismay of the Judiciary and prosecuting elite. Our my work are just a bunch of aerosols.they couldnt even catch me red-handed.when I painted a bloody Mural on the Victoria Street butchers shop window under the slogan Meat is Murder..! said the youngster boasting openly. So you openly admit to that particular crime.we can add accessory to murder for that outburst.! said the barrister thinking he was Perry Mason and not just a free one. Murder? asked Bates starting to get worried that they would pin a wrap on him. Muriel- the victim you just admitted murdering herthis may be a Court of Lawbut unlike the inept police force of this country we dont have to caution you for an admitted offence first! said Horsehair not believing his luck. Mural you idiotit is a drawing on a wallI learned that in my first lesson at Merfa Art College! said Bates. Semantics- you just admitted that you were the one who damaged the butchers windowyou are the one now for the chop! said the barrister .No response came from the jury at the pun which really pissed him off more than being outsmarted by a punk. And you just admitted that the police in this country were ineptso whatI am not being tried for that art statement.! snapped back Bates. You are being tried for the art attack on the Police Station where CCT cameras showed you spray painting a wall with a giant phallus! said Horsehair. The CCT cameras or Big Bruvva as I call them do not show ME spray painting the Police Station Wallthey show somebody dressed in black wearing a black balaclava over their face.! said Bates. Who else could it be on a balance of probabilities? said Horsehair. I would remind you SIR that this is a criminal courtthe burden of proof is beyond all reasonable doubtit favours the criminal! said Bates.The Judge flashed him a look that he had him there. How many citizens walk around in Merthyr Tydfil wearing ski masks? asked Horsehair. I take it YOUR not from Merthyr? replied Bates. Penarth actually! said Horsehair boasting in a posh accent. You expect this Jury to swallow that? said Horsehair. It COULD be a visitordone it? countered Bates. Like whomno-one comes to Merthyr for a visitname one person in Britain who habitually wears a balaclava over their face? questioned Horsehair snidely. Martin McGuinness, Novak the Fonejacker , the BBC Director General on the way to the BBC Studios to the Jimi Savile Hearing.theres three for a start! replied Bates.Feeling defeated the Barrister tried a different tack. So why do they call you Wanksyis it in tribute to that other artist Banksy from Bristol?Bates nearly slipped up by not putting his brain in gear before answering. They dont call ME anything.the legendary figure of Wanksy might be interpreted by some people as being a homage to that Bristol bloke Banksy and that the copy-cat artist may be as original as an Andy Warhol print of Marilyn Monroe.only Wanksy could have had a much shakier hand from years of self-abuse and the resultant poorer eyesightI am told he is revered in these parts having originally been inspired by his Polish Art Teacher in Penydre to spray paint the road bridge underpass near Penydre School in the Gurnos .His first classic was to over paint the mural of the rock band Marillion with the symbol for CRASS and the immortal words Bored of Fish .He then went on to paint on the Merthyr College front a shopping trolley floating in the water and its reflection theretowhich was ironic as there was in fact a migratory herd of shopping trolleys in the River Taff at the time! continued Bates. Come ..come now you seem to know a lot about Wanksy .considering you DENY you ARE him.. Master Bates? inferred Horsehair. Well if you listened to me earlier.I already told you I went to Merfa Art College- we studied the new part mind you- Wanksy was a legend in his own lunchtimecost him a fortune in Autotrade though! said Bates. So you know Wanksyyou could be done for aiding and abetting! said Horsehair clutching at straws. I didnt go to his Cans Festival not me I NEVER held HIS can mate.besides arent you supposed to caution me first? said Bates rapidly. This Exit through the Gift Shop Society deserves what it getsthis Country is doomed.its only a short time before the revolution starts as the working class of this country are being taxed to death energy and food prices going through the roof.anarchy will prevail .you could say the writing is on the wall and youll be the first casualty of the October Revolution! snapped Bates becoming frustrated at the line of questionning. This is what this very Court here is designed to stop happening! said Judge Balls interrupting again. Jury- I direct that you must find the guilty of all charges otherwise you wont get your conduct monies! ordered the Justice. It is Art that is on trial here! shouted Bates as he was handcuffed and dragged away by the Balls of this World. What are the disaffected youth in Merfa to dothere are no jobs here? he shouted back. There is always a Court Artist! sniggered Balls as he slammed down his hammer on the proletariat. Case Closed!
updated by @philip-evans: 11/11/15 10:39:10PM